„Wie verbinden Sie eigentlich Familie und Beruf?“ - Fränzi Kühne stellt Politikern typische „Frauenfragen“

The entrepreneur and author Fränzi Kühne simply asked men the interview questions that normally only women should answer - about hairstyles, clothes and feelings of guilt. A conversation about cracked topics and cracked clichés

Ms Kühne, don't you like interviews?

Basically, I like interviews. I enjoy meeting and talking to people I don't know yet. Sitting in a café, on a bench in the park or on a stage and talking about things that are important to everyone involved - that's an honor and a pleasure.

Despite this, you wrote a book about interview questions that you hate.

Yes, because the problem is: Hardly any conversation is not at some point about my role as a woman, or about the fact that I am different and fall out of some role. It's about clothes, it's about my looks, it's about family responsibilities. Also about whether I could serve as a role model for other women or feel a particular pressure in this man's world.

What exactly were you asked?

How do you hold your own in a male domain? Why did you choose this dress? And how do you actually manage the balancing act between job and family? Things like that you just don't ask men. Imagine reading: What will the parliamentary leader of the left wear tomorrow? Has the Siemens CEO ever been promoted because of his visual attributes? How can the work of the successful start-up founder be combined with the role of a father?

How do you explain that?

We maintain an interview and media culture that takes all the soft questions about family, well-being, role model effect, compatibility and appearance for women for granted, but for men they are irrelevant. The duty of the women is the freestyle of the men.

As the founder of a successful digital agency and the youngest member of the supervisory board of a listed company, you give a lot of interviews. When did you get to the point where you couldn't take it anymore?

At first I didn't think it was all that wild. I figured if it helps to address the fact that you don't have to dress up to be successful, let's talk about my shoes - mostly black Chucks. But if I had known how often my shoes would soon be the subject of discussion, I would not have been so willing to talk about my fashion choices in the first interviews. It slowly came to my ears: "Fränzi Kühne wears ripped jeans, Converse shoes, a zip in his ear hole and a blond sidecut, she doesn't look like the typical supervisory board member at all." Men are asked about their visions, women about compatibility of child and career, which comes right after the shoes.

What question have you been asked most frequently in interviews?

What will you wear to the next supervisory board meeting?

In your current book, you have now switched sides and asked male interlocutors questions that normally only women would hear, including Foreign Minister Heiko Maas, Member of the Bundestag Gregor Gysi and Siemens boss Joe Kaeser. How did the men react?

I have to say that some of them really surprised me because they were very reflective and seriously thought about the questions. For example Jörg Eigendorf, spokesman for Deutsche Bank and father. He thinks about himself and his family in a very modern way, sets an example of compatibility and equal distribution of responsibility for the children and of course brings this to the group.

Were there also uncomprehending reactions?

Yes, there were. The web designer and musician Fynn Kliemann, for example, said he felt intimidated, unsettled and offended by my questions. Until he understood that I was being asked these very questions myself. Since he was honestly stunned.

Annalena Baerbock from the Greens could become the next chancellor and currently has to ask herself many questions. Mostly it is about political content, but often also about her role as a mother and the compatibility of child and career. Does any of this sound familiar to you?

For me, reporting on her is a great opportunity because it clearly shows that her position, her status, her visions are not the primary concern. When it comes to a woman, everyone wants to know how she intends to manage that other project called “Family” alongside her career. It is defined, sometimes even reduced. Almost worse than the questions themselves is the ever-present undertone of surprise, of astonishment that resonates in reports about successful women, along the lines of: "I wonder how she did it?"

To person

Fränzi Kühne, born in East Berlin in 1983, is a member of the supervisory board, mother, author, trained negotiator, founder and long-standing managing director of what was once Germany's first social media agency. Kühne has been on the Board of Trustees of the AllBright Foundation since March 2018 and is committed to more women in management positions. The foundation regularly publishes reports on the situation of women in management bodies. Since the summer of 2020, Kühne has been on the advisory board of the management consultancy "365 Sherpas", as well as on the supervisory board of Freenet and Württembergische Versicherung. She has published numerous specialist articles on the topics of digitization, entrepreneurship and gender. In her book, she shows the often sexist treatment of women in the media. "What men are never asked. I'll ask anyway” was recently published by Fischer Verlag. 240 pages, 14 euros. lem

They are considered the exception to the rule.

I agree. Successful women get exotic status. They are not an indication of a real structural change, but a deviation from the norm. Tell us how you managed to do it despite all the circumstances? What advice would you give to women who want to get as far as you have? What role models did you have yourself, in whose footsteps could you follow? The real issue should be the lack of equal opportunities.

So the questions are not the problem?

Absolutely not. Conversations about the compatibility of children and career are justified. However, they must be carried out equally often with all genders. In the end, everyone benefits from this. In my interviews, I found out that men tell incredibly interesting things when you talk to them about their families and their function as role models, for example.

Were there people you spoke to whose answers particularly touched you?

I asked Lars Hellmeyer, the chief physician for obstetrics and gynecology at two Berlin Vivantes clinics, what sacrifices he had to make for his career. The answer was highly emotional. Because he commuted for his job for many years, he missed a large part of his 8-year-old son's childhood. On a joint ship trip he wanted to get closer to him again. At the end his son said to him "Dad, don't go". This sentence touched him so much that he later questioned career decisions. I was also surprised that Gregor Gysi was a single father in East Berlin. Normally he is only asked about political content. This shows again: Talking about private things is a duty for women - for men it's optional.

Was that one of the main results of your research?

In any case, it became clear in the discussions: Hardly any man had to weigh up between child and career and reflected on why this is so and who paid the price for it instead. The statement then dealt a lot with tacit agreements and supposed luck in choosing a partner. The reality of life for women looks different.

What should men be asked much more often?

I think that men should be asked much more often about exactly these topics and not just when it's supposed to be human. How do men feel about dealing with responsibility and family. The answers are very instructive.

What was the dumbest question you've ever been asked?

There are no dumb questions. But after asking men again and again whether what they are wearing is their standard outfit, I have come to the conclusion that very little can be deduced from this...

Were there actually differences in the culture of questions between magazines, political daily newspapers and online publications?

Almost all journalists asked me certain questions, across the board: "Handelsblatt", "Grazia", ​​"Die Zeit"...

What question should society urgently discuss more often?

The discussion about compatibility, as we are conducting it, can only ever run in circles. We steadfastly refuse to acknowledge that our world is changing massively and that new ideas and positions are required of us. We want to shape the future, but we don't even have our present together yet. We urgently need to work on that.

Interview: Anne Lemhöfer