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Cross question: Small men, what does your height do to you?

Cross question: Small men, what does your height do to you?

Cross question: Small men, what does your height do to you?

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Little men, what does your size do to you?

How do you deal with being small in dating and at work? And is it true that short men compensate for a lack of self-confidence - for example through machoism?By Tami Holderried and Kolja HaafHetero women prefer tall men, they say. How do smaller men feel this when dating - and how do they deal with it? Illustration: Daniela Rudolf-Lübke

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dear men,

I had a crush when I was 14. He was 16, cool, funny, had a pimped scooter - and was at least a head shorter than me. After we finally made out, my girlfriends asked me if kissing a smaller boy wouldn't have been weird. And to be honest: Yes, it seemed a bit strange to me at the time.

Because it is considered normal: the man is tall. Taller than the women in his life. Studies have shown that straight women prefer taller men as partners. The researchers explain this by saying that women would feel better protected by tall men. In addition, physical size is probably understood as a sign of health, good gene pool and status. And even today, when women have the same jobs as men, we no longer have to collect and hunt, and we don't need protectors either, this idea apparently persists. You can see that on Tinder. Most men state their height directly in the profile, in addition to their name and age.

In most cases, this is a result of height alone: ​​on average, men in Germany are 1.80 tall, while women are only around 1.65 on average. Nevertheless, there are of course tall women (like me). And there are little men (like my crush).

The ideal image of a man is still today: tall and strong

At this point I would also like to celebrate the heterosexual couples, where the size ratios are distributed differently. The influencer Zanna van Dijk, for example, who has to explain again and again that she doesn't care much about the size of her partner. Or one of my best friends who has been with a woman for years who towers over him by more than a head, even barefoot, and likes to wear heels. But these are really isolated cases.

The ideal image of a man is still today: tall and strong. And it's not just about being taller than women: short men are said to have a difficult character. It is said that they have problems with self-confidence (tiny man syndrome) and that they compensate by being particularly mean and macho.

Are the prejudices correct? What does it do to you when you're little? Or at least: Smaller than many women? How do you notice this in everyday life – also outside of the dates, for example at work? Are there uncomfortable situations in front of high supermarket shelves? And: Have you ever dated a taller woman?

your wives

The answer:

dear women,

when I was asked if I could answer this question, I grumbled a few curses in front of myself and stamped my stubby legs grumpily. At 171 cm, I just about manage to suppress the fact that you could describe me as a "little man" most of the time and I react all the more annoyed when I'm reminded of it. Cursed fate! Couldn't at least one sperm with 176 genes have prevailed back then? But no, somehow the little, nasty Monsieur 171 scurried by. Oh well. It's like that now.

Querfrage: Kleine Männer, was macht eure Körpergröße mit euch?

So much for “what it does to us” being small: it doesn’t necessarily make us over the moon.

I still have the advantage of being taller than or the same height as most women. And yet my romantic development was always shaped by my size. And with it a feeling of powerlessness. Watching tall friends, thanks to stone-age attractiveness schemes, just have to stand there stupidly to be adored, while I myself danced around women like a sad, caffeine-overdosed clown for an ounce of attention can make you a cynic. Or to the overcompensating tiny-man macho, no question.

However, it can also lead to quite positive adaptation patterns if, as a small man, you are forced to compensate for your size with humor, empathy or French horn skills, for example, and then achieve a mastery in these areas that large men may simply never have needed to impress anyone.

Your missing centimeters always sit on your shoulder and hiss in your ear: "Nobody takes you seriously!"

And to know that women really want tall men and that the whole thing doesn't just take place in our heads, short men don't need any scientific studies either. They've just had it said to their faces regularly since the onset of puberty: "Sorry, but do you know you're short?" And by the way, those Tinder men with their height references have their counterpart in women who write things like "No one please under 180”.

But yeah, it's not just about finding a partner. From physical education to discussion groups and job interviews: your missing centimeters are always sitting on your shoulder and hissing in your ear: "No one takes you seriously! They probably don't even notice you! All that's left to do now is grab someone, yell some provocative statement, or praise yourself to the heavens!"

It took me a long time to come to terms with my size. I gnawed at her throughout my youth into my early twenties. And didn't even have the (metaphorical) size not to treat people shorter than me the way I thought I was treated. I rarely think about my 1.71 now. Maybe it's maturity. Maybe I just compensated enough.

Speaking of which: Yes, I've also dated taller women. But I probably would have really needed it back then when I was 16. If only I had known about the pimped scooter.

Your under 180 men

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